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Letter to a demon

Dear mister Devil,

Hope you're well. I'm doing fine, but there is a philosophical question I've been wanting to ask you for a while.

I know that you're not as evil as people say. I know that you're just a simple guy trying to make a living off of other people's misery. I see that, and I respect that. After all, what else do undertakers, lawyers, policemen, psychologists and politicians do but make a job out of the inherent flaws and mistakes of mankind?

After all, you haven't created man. Nor are you to blame for man's faults.

An alternative to the fluffy goodness is now as necessary and desired as ever. A more realistic view of life, love and death.

However, I have heard several rumors about an exclusive underground resort you supposedly run. This place, often by the name of 'Hades' or 'Hell', is said to be every schoolboy's dream: scantily clad female demons with an open mindedness that surpasses even my own fantasies, geek approved cartloads of awesomeness in degraded outfits and accessories -- like the option to walk around as a walking, groaning, decomposing corpse -- and no consequences for any misbehavior, except perhaps thunderous applause or a better room.

I, for one, can't wait to spend some time there. Did you get my application?

The question I have been wanting to ask you, concerns this supposed resort. Considering the outfits of staff members, residents and demons alike, I guess there is reason to believe that 'Hell' is unlikely to ever "freeze over".

Since I'm all about global warming since that cute girl warned me about the dangers of regular light bulbs -- don't worry, she's in my fridge. Well, parts of her, anyway -- I really am curious about something.

Is there an environmentally-friendly air conditioner in 'Hell'? Can it be turned down at all?

Thanks for replying. You should come over for coffee sometime.

Forever yours (you wish),

DragonFang

Demon blog

The Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be "unnatural"...

Despite its reputation, the Dark Side (by whatever name) has always been popular amongst both scum and the elite. Modern day views might reject the idea of a supernatural devil, "evil incarnate" seems to persist as a scapegoat for many things.

It is remarkable, for instance, how people who denounce religion and claim to not believe in a god, often continue to believe in a devil of some sort.

Despite the fact that in the Bible there is no Devil as described by most people (horned and with features of a goat or a gargoyle). There is, however, a "great beast" and "the evil one" that comes down from the heavens, and attempts to lure Jesus to evil, respectively. Nowhere does it say anything about leathery wings and menacing horns, yet that is exactly the image most people have of this supposed devil.

I once met a (delusional) man who claimed the devil was after him, in differing appearances. One moment it would look like the man next door, the next it was an attractive lady who offered him drugs. If there is a devil, I'm more willing to believe this guy (despite his apparent delusions) than the traditional view.

Whatever his appearance, it would seem natural for people to need a scapegoat to blame things on. "The devil made me do it", or "she must be straight out of hell". The truth, however, is that there is no devil. The evil is what we bring upon ourselves. We, as mankind, do a great job of it; we don't need a supernatural entity to do that for us.

Evil does not exist.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Curse

A quick guide to: Dark Ages

Step 1: Close all doors and windows of your home.

Step 2: Switch off all electric appliances.

Step 3: Lock yourself up in a closet.

Step 4: Scream.

Step 5: Wait. It could take a while before anyone finds you. Maybe ages. Dark ages.



In other news: President Bush has the right to read all my stuff. No matter if I never ever visit the United Bloody States of Bloody America.
Hi, George. Welcome to my blog.

And the children, too!

When I grow up, I want to be a psychopath.

Honestly. What better way to show appreciation to whatever entity that created you, than to prove the excellent quality of you by killing random strangers in the night and putting them on display for the whole world to see?

I do not, however, like war. War is ugly. Fights should be mann gegen mann, without a platoon of gun wielders to guard your back.

Survival of the fittest. Survival of the best.

I want to embody evolution. I want to hunt, make war, make love to many women, grow better, have lots of offspring... and then die fighting.


...nah. I like my life just fine. My name isn't Hannibal Lecter.

Testing...

"Anakin, Chancellor Bert is evil!"

"From my point of view, the world is evil!"

At last, we shall reveal ourselves to the world. At last, we shall have revenge.

World, beware. The galaxy's most feared bounty hunter and terrorist has returned, and he's coming for all of us. Especially bunnies.

Bert.

Evil incarnate.

Stay inside, lock your doors and windows, sacrifice your firstborn, pray to the gods, and keep the blue pill nearby.

He's coming. Half of the Marsians have already died.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.



Oh, and check out my cute new pet!