"Anakin, Chancellor Bert is evil!"

"From my point of view, the world is evil!"

At last, we shall reveal ourselves to the world. At last, we shall have revenge.

World, beware. The galaxy's most feared bounty hunter and terrorist has returned, and he's coming for all of us. Especially bunnies.

Bert.

Evil incarnate.

Stay inside, lock your doors and windows, sacrifice your firstborn, pray to the gods, and keep the blue pill nearby.

He's coming. Half of the Marsians have already died.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.



Oh, and check out my cute new pet!

First Kiss

It started with a hug.

We turned to say good-bye,
Our faces too close to ignore.
The tension grew
As the distance shrank.
My mind raced with anticipation.
What should I do?
Lips closed, or dare open them?
As I first felt her gentle caress
Nothing could be sweeter.
The moment escalated,
Our passions took over.
Excitement consumed us
As embarrassment ensued.
Our teeth clanked;
What seemed so perfect
Now was so awkward.
We pulled away,
Her look was one of confusion.
What I did next
I will never forget.
I remembered the nursery rhyme,
"First is the worst,
Second's the best."
So I leaned back in,
And started all over.
A little experience was all I needed.

by Sean H. on Teen Ink

Fact 5

Fact 4

Fact 3

Fact 2

Fact 1

Hard Candy

Early morning

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,

That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his fucking head.

I'm not a morning person.

New and improved

So here it is - my new and improved blog. You may have noticed the big logo thingy above. It's new.

I decided to upgrade to the new Blogger layout. How do you like it? Good? Not good? Let me know!

The only thing I'm not completely satisfied with is the width of this thing. It used to be broader. Anyone knows how to fix that?