Wednesday, 27 December 2006

Prepare for the ultimate show-down

(imagine a magnificent bird view of a mountainous landscape, covered in the dark of dusk. Now imagine a voice-over, over-acting dramatically, like in any epic movie trailer)

In a world of darkness…

(zoom in on a quiet village)

…where evil rules with an iron fist…

(scared villager faces, hurrying back home)

…where good was just a fleeting dream…

(children quacking with fear under the covers)

…one man stands alone…

(lone rider enters the village, looking fiercesome)

…on his mission to save the world…

(close up of the determined look in his eyes)

…from them…

(camera moves towards the edge of the village; fleeting shadows move away)

…the killer rabbits…

(fluffy bunnies hop away)

A story of hope…

(young boy, youthful excitement in his eyes, walks through sunny fields)


(boy's mother looking at the stranger with wanton desire)


(the stranger looks back, rough but friendly)

…and hard fucking…

(candle-lit window of a night-time cottage, a bed squieking, a woman moaning)

…brought to you by the makers of this world and the next…

(big bearded man looks down from the heavens with a smile)

…this year…

(red letters on a black background: "this year...")

…someone’s about to have a very shitty day…

(from wide view to close-up of the stranger, saying "oh crap", abruptly ending to show the movie's title in red and white)


Joy to the world

Now that Christmas is over, we can get to the good stuff.

What did you get?

Much has been said about the overwhelming aspects of commerce and its big role during the holiday season. I'll just mention it, and continue to the point I was getting at.

Merry Christmas
Joy to the world
Peace on earth

You'll have to forgive me for not knowing the actual phrases or the order in which they appear in the song, but I hardly know the proper English version.

I was thinking about giving this blog entry a title like "false selfrighteousness", but it wouldn't have meant much to anyone but myself. Instead I chose an ironic part of the aforementioned song. "Joy to the world".

Yes, "joy to the world": joy to the world of haves; misery to the world of the havenots. "Peace on earth" is merely a blurry dream, nearly forgotten after waking up. Whereas both sides during the First World War ceased their fire during Christmas and shared their food, drink and talk, such a thing would be unimaginable in Iraq or Somalia today. Whereas members of several organisations such as the Salvation Army give food and shelter to those who need it most, the majority of the people of the Western world spend their time and money on those who they see often and who hardly need any presents.

Joy to the world. Peace on earth. Sure.

I know I have commited the same sins. I have spent my time with my family and have not invited a poor homeless soul to our table. I have not tried to stop any war in whatever way. But I have been aware of the immoral and unethical way of chosen ignorance and hypocrisy that is this year's Christmas. And that is a start. I hope more people will realize this and start acting in more sincere ways.

A better world starts with me and you.

Happy Holidays.

Saturday, 23 December 2006

Christmas is cancelled

Have a Merry Christmas, everybody, and a Happy Newyear. Don't get into any trouble.

Tuesday, 19 December 2006

What the fuck was I talking about?

We're going to play a little game.

Yes, it's free. No, you don't need pen and paper. Just read and think along.

Now. Anyone of you seen Reservoir Dogs?

No, let's not start there.

I'm sure everyone of you has seen some movie or television program with plenty of violence in it. Some of you may avoid it as much as possible, whereas others live by it.

So, I was thinking. What if there was no violence in the world? If we had never even heard of such a thing? No fighting, no killing, no hurting.

Hard to imagine? I bet.

Now try this. Remember, it's completely hypothetical (means it's not real).

Imagine there's something, either hideous or heavenly, or neutral for that matter, that we have never even heard of. It doesn't exist. Yet, if it was, it would have a tremendous influence on our life. Like love or hate, but something else. Nothing we know of.
Something like how people two decades ago, not being able to imagine a thing like the internet, yet now it has such an immense influence on us.

Try to feel like that guy two decades ago who can't grasp the idea of internet.

Can you imagine that? Or does your head hurt? I know I've thought about the possibilities for many times, and always I am fascinated by the idea. Yet my head starts to hurt sometimes. How can you imagine something that nobody ever thought of? Something that never will be?

So... what the fuck was I talking about?

Monday, 18 December 2006

Subtlety is dead

This blog is no longer for kids.

Censorship goes out of the Microsoft Window. It's my blog and I can do what I fucking want.

I can and will say "fuck" and "shit". A lot.

I can and will post naked girls.

I can and will talk about sex. Explicitly.

I can and will be sarcastic. Deal with it.

Bloggers beware. The Dragon has been unleashed.

Sunday, 17 December 2006

The Phantom Menace

At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.

Darth Maul. Hunter of Jedi, weapon of the Sith.

Of course he was the coolest bad guy since Darth Vader, with his double lightsaber and kick ass moves. But there's more to him than that and I only recently realized that.

This Zabrak, taken as a child to become a Sith, was Sidious' most powerful tool. An instrument against the Jedi, and for the creation of a Sith empire. The first public face of the Sith in thousands of years.

A scary face it was, with the ancient markings of the Sith. A scary skill as well.

This Maul, this dark warrior, was trained since childhood in the ways of the Sith. The moves, the emotions, the lore and the philosophies of the dark cult that has always been the archenemies of the Jedi.

He knew the world, the galaxy, only through the ideals of these dark Force users. Everything that happened, he interpreted through those eyes. The Jedi were bad, the Sith good. No greys.

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Yes, either you were one of the chosen people to serve or rule, or you were one of the tyrants that had ended their rule, more than a thousand years ago, in bloodshed. Either you were the rebel freedom fighter, or the oppressing, corrupted power-that-be.

Either you were the Rebel Alliance or the Empire.

Odd that Star Wars gives us these parallel stories, but tells us that one is good and right, and the other bad and evil.

If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.

A quote from the even better-known Sith, Darth Vader.

If you're not with us, then you're against us.

Whose quote is this, again? Ah yes, US president George W. Bush.

Rather than trying to convince you, the reader, that George Lucas was saying Bush is evil, my point is more subtle.

Empires rise, empires fall, new empires will replace them. Good leader will be corrupted. Evil leaders will turn back to the light. Good leaders will be brought down by dishonesty and corrupted leaders will rise like stars - and the other way around.

Forever in motion, the world is.

Do not cling to your beliefs too hard. Don't be like Darth Maul, who saw everything through the eyes of a Sith. These ideals we have, might not be true after so many years.

Be forever critical. But be forever open-minded, as well.

Today's Sith might just be tomorrow's Jedi. Don't let today's Jedi be tomorrow's Empire.

Friday, 15 December 2006

Real life

Hello all.

Since this is my blog, I'd better start using it as such. Not just posting those funny pictures and stuff, but actually telling you about my everyday life.

Or not.

Alright, I admit. I love the fun stuff. If you haven't noticed, I can tell you that I have been making an effort to more or less post something every day for about a week. Lot better than once a month, I say. But I'm still not reporting about my experiences in the "real world".

The "real world". Funny expression. As if the world doesn't exist online. As if you just cease to exist as soon as you turn on your computer, and revive when you log off.

Well, yesterday I bought 3 books: Talyn by Holly Lisle, Keeping It Real by Justina Robson, and The Science Of Discworld II: The Globe by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart & Jack Cohen. I can't tell you if they're any good yet, since I'm only on page 54 of the first book, but they seem to be great already. Fans of Terry Pratchett need no further urging, and I'm a big fan of Holly Lisle ever since I read Diplomacy of Wolves, and Keeping It Real is already proving to be a page turner. Recommended reading, indeed.

That's the bit of everyday experience I'm going to share today. Yes, that's it. You'll have to wait for a very long time for the next bit of information about my life outside the web.

No, my life is not boring.

Hey, don't blame the blogger; I'm just doing what I do best. Keeping my identity all mysterious and stuff. It's cool. It's hip. It's like "who's that guy, dude?" and "wow, I wish I could be as cool as that DF" and "how I want to be like him, or be with him". You know, the usual groupie thing.

Adore me.

I crave your attention. Give me attention! Fuck me, I'm famous! I'm a star, baby!

Another couple minutes of your life wasted reading one of my nonsense blog. If you need to talk: I'm a psychologist in training. Reasonable prices. Call now, and get your first session for half price.

Wednesday, 13 December 2006




Tuesday, 12 December 2006

The Dragon strikes again

The Dragon moves like wildfire.

I come closer. Rapidly.

Ready or not, here I come.

Your anxious eyes meet mine a fraction of a moment before I strike.

I reach, and seize. We fall.

The floor is hard. So am I.

I kiss your lips. Soft lips.

You hesitate. I kiss again.

You kiss me back. My heart jumps.

"Mmm," you say. Licking your lips. Love your lips.



I love that way you smile and talk and look at me; the way you make love, go out, have fun.

I hate that way you smile and talk and look at me; the way you make love, go out, have fun.

I'm jealous of that way you smile and talk and look at me; the way you make love, go out, have fun.

I don't care about that way you smile and talk and look at me; the way you make love, go out, have fun.

I want that way you smile and talk and look at me; the way you make love, go out, have fun.

I love you, I hate you, I'm jealous of you, I don't care about you.

I want you.

Monday, 11 December 2006

Crouching Maiden Hidden Dragon

I lay low and wait.

There you are, oblivious. Your path is not clear, your anxiety is. You look over your shoulder, twice.

Carefully you tread past. Finding those silvery wrappings and putting them away. Greedy eyes look on and you move away.

Silently I watch you, adore you. Ever closer you come. Your sweet scent is intoxicating.

Your gaze crosses mine and we freeze. But you've not spotted me, but a delicious chocolate flower. You crouch down. I enjoy the view.

Shall I reveal my chocolatey self?

Sunday, 10 December 2006


If aliens exist...

...what would they think of us?
...who of us would they want to talk to?
...why would they want to talk at all?
...would they even remotely look like us?
...would they have the means to lift us from this misery that is our dying planet?

If dragons exist...

...would they be friendly?
...what would they eat?
...would they be able to communicate with us?
...would they even want to?

If the devil exists...

...would he wear Prada?
...would he laugh at our disbelief?
...would he be the rich Wall Street guy or the poor drug dealer in the alley?
...would he be handsome and attractive or filthy and repulsive?
...would he just want to be understood?

If God exists...

...would He dream of angels, too?
...what would He think of us now?
...would He be sorry?
...would He have the answers?
...would He give them to us?
...would we believe it's Him?
...would He actually be a She?

If you read this...

...would you not be offended?
...would you take the time to leave a bitemark?