It's a hard life, being a dragon on the internet. I know you don't believe me, but it is.I mean, it's so hard to keep your own identity between all those competitors. Have you ever tried googling "dragon"? Trust me, I won't be on any of the first 700 pages.
There's too much competition on the web. How is a simple dragon, trying to make his way on the net, to get the attention he craves? It's dragon overdose, I tell you.
Plus all my friends get slain by knights in shiny armour. Don't you hate it when that happens? And they never even bury the bones; I mean, that's just gross. And they call themselves civilized. Yeah, sure.
The only good part about this job is the treasure. And you know it, not all treasure is silver and gold. The maidens in distress - that's my true motivation right there. Long flowing strands of golden hair, with a face like an angel, and a voice that goes "eeeeeeh" when you even look at them. Life's good when you've got maidens. Just too bad they keep trying to escape when you're taking a nap. Perhaps it's time to contact that evil stepmother again, to place some more curses so I have to "guard" those lovely ladies in that remote fortress. Well, last time didn't end so great, so I might have to think twice.
And scaring horses is always funny. Just too bad their owners keep on sending those slayers. I hate dragon slayers. If there's one thing I hate more than kids thinking they can ride on my back...
Last of all, I'm having a very hard time typing the words right with these massive claws. It takes hours just completing a sentence without accidentally typing "jessljkjklsdjkdf".
The hidden tortures of being a dragon on the internet in the year 2007. Please love me more now. I'll not eat you, no matter what they say. Just small bites every now and then.
1 comment:
Long flowing strands of golden hair,
Why do you dragons always talk about maidens with "golden" hair? Redheads are ever so much more exciting! :D
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