Veiled secrets

How many times have you watched Star Wars and thought, "what if..." - what if this had happened, or that had been different?

No, don't tell me.

I present to you... drumroll please... the Top Ten of Improbable Yet Not Impossible Alternative Truths of The Star Wars Galaxy...

10. Jar-Jar has been working for Sidious all along, actually being a spy called Jarren "Bad" Smimm.

9. Mace Windu has actually been fathered by Yoda, but sadly he did not inherit the green Master's sense of humour.

8. Throughout most of the saga, R2D2 stuggled with his hidden oil bath addiction.

7. If Ewoks are nurtured with the right vitamins, they turn out to be Wookiees.

6. Amongst the members of the Jedi Council it was a well-known secret that Master Ki-Adi-Mundi used muscle boosters, responsible for his large forehead.

5. Rather than using the Force, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader commonly communicated by text messages (and smoke signals on Tatooine).

4. Jabba the Hutt had tried several diets, but his dietitian swore his habit of eating large amounts of living creatures nullified any effect. Jabba naturally ate this dietitian and decided on an "I look better with slave girls in metal bikinis"-lifestyle.

3. Twi'leks are Nautolans who tore out all but two of their "tentacles".

2. The Millenium Falcon has been constructed, rather hastily, from the remains of several battle droids, two protocol droids, a captured ysalamir and half a Republic Cruiser - including its crew.

And finally, number 1: Darth Maul had a large collection of dark robes, because his hoods kept getting shredded by his horns.